Xena and Gabrielle's Wild Night Out
by Xenas Crack
Summary: Just your standard pub brawl.


After a long day of travelling through the countryside, fighting wrongdoer's, and saving the day; Xena, Gabrielle and Joxer headed for a nearby tavern in which they hoped to find some rest.

'I think we achieved a lot today ladies!' Joxer chuckled as he walked alongside Argo, and looked up at Xena who was riding atop the horse.  
'What do you mean _'we'?'_ She scoffed, glaring at Joxer.  
'Yeah, you were the one who got us involved with those savages in the first place. If it wasn't for you we would have had a relaxing day.' Gabrielle jabbed Joxer with her elbow and he let out a squeak.  
'Exactly! We could have spent the day fishing! But instead we had to rescue you from decapitation.' Xena leaned down and thumped Joxer's helmet clad head.  
'Well, those guys needed showing who's boss, and that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't got myself into trouble.' Joxer said with a smug smile upon his face.  
Xena scowled at the top of Joxer's head, his helmet glimmering gently in the evening sun. If it wasn't for her and Gabrielle, his head would be lying on the floor in the middle of the forest by now, the men that captured Joxer had him tied to a tree and were threatening to chop off his head if he didn't hand over the money he owed them. It was always Xena and Gabrielle who had to save the day, All Xena wanted to do was to have a nice warm bed to rest in until her next adventure ensued.

'Well, Joxer.' Xena sighed; she had spotted the tavern and started to dismount Argo. 'Seeing as though you're the hero for today, you can treat us all to drinks.' She took Argo by the reins and lead her to the tavern, tying her up outside. She turned around and grabbed Gabrielle, pulling her close so no one else could hear her talk. 'C'mon, let's see how many drinks we can get out of this fool.' Gabrielle grinned and they walked through the large oak door into the darkened tavern.

~

Some drinks later…

~

'Best two out of three!'  
'Oh, come on Gabrielle, you aren't going to beat me at my own game.' Xena said smugly, setting her flagon of wine haphazardly onto the table, and then hiccupping loudly.  
'I think…' Gabrielle stood up, slightly too fast and swayed on the spot. 'I think you need to prepare to lose.' She walked over to the wall near the table they had been sat at and grabbed the knife that was embedded into the wooden panel. She pulled the knife free and walked back to stand next to Xena. 'Watch and learn!' Gabrielle squinted at the wall where she had removed the knife; she tried to concentrate at the roughly drawn target that had been chalked onto the surface.  
Xena had decided they should play some drinking games, and had told Joxer to draw a target for them on his helmet, which he declined and hastily drew one onto the wall instead. They took in turns throwing the knife at the target; Joxer kept losing miserably so he decided to forfeit the game, his head lolling onto the table next to his drink. Xena and Gabrielle both kept hitting the bullseye to begin with, but as the drinks continued their accuracy decreased.  
Gabrielle was stood next to Xena, who was focused on the target, one eye closed as to see well.  
Xena glanced at Gabrielle who had now bent forwards slightly to get a better aim, her butt sticking out right next to Xena. A grin spread across Xena's face, she waited until Gabrielle was just about to throw the knife and then

SLAP!

She slapped Gabrielle right on the butt cheek, making her jolt forwards, the knife slipping from her hand, It flew in completely the wrong direction and landed straight in the middle of the bar. The Innkeepers face turned bright red and he looked over to Gabrielle and Xena accusingly.

'WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!' He yelled at the top of his lungs. 'THAT KNIFE ALMOST HIT ME IN THE FACE!'  
Gabrielle who was taken aback at the sudden pain in her backside, was about to scold Xena for cheating when the disgruntled man stormed over to them.  
Xena was in fits of laughter and had managed to spill the contents of her drink all over the table.  
'I want you to leave this instant!' He growled as he approached them.  
'Aw, come on we were only having a bit of fun.' Xena grinned and poked Gabrielle in the butt.  
Gabrielle swatted Xena's hand away but Xena carried on trying to jab her.  
'Xena stop.' Gabrielle was now giggling, as the man's face had turned an ugly shade of red; she couldn't help but be reminded of a beetroot with a face.  
'Okay, Gabrielle I'll let you have an extra turn, seeing as though your aim is so bad.' Xena grabbed a spoon from the table, thinking it was a knife, and handed it to Gabrielle.  
Gabrielle didn't pay any attention to the spoon and threw it at the target without thinking. It bounced off the wall and hit the bartender right in the back of the head.  
'GET OUT!' he shouted, making Xena jump out of her seat. They both hastily made for the door, leaving Joxer who was fast asleep and snoring, alone in the dingy building.

'Ahh this looks like a good spot.' Xena flung herself onto the ground, not realising how hard the floor was. She let out a groan as she realised she had landed on a small branch. Gabrielle laughed and Xena threw the branch in her direction, missing her by an inch.  
'It's a good thing that innkeeper stepped in when he did or you would have lost so badly.' Xena was trying to make herself comfortable on the floor.  
'Yeah, well at least I didn't cheat.' Gabrielle exclaimed, crossing her arms over her chest.  
' _At least I didn't cheat'_ Xena mocked, and hiccupped again. 'You know Gabrielle; I think I drank too much.' She felt herself become queasy and propped herself up with her elbows.  
'Me too' Gabrielle said and looked around seeing if there was somewhere else more comfortable they could rest. As she looked around she noticed that they were close to the river.  
'How about we go for a swim to clear our heads?' She suggested.

'Oh, I don't know.' Xena screwed up her face and lay back down on the uncomfortable floor.

Gabrielle walked over to her and grabbed her hands, pulling her to get to her feet. 'The cold water will be nice.' She grinned. 'And also, you stink of booze.'  
'I do not!' Xena exclaimed and sniffed at Gabrielle. 'It's you who stinks!'  
Xena stood up, with some difficulty, and decided a swim would be a good idea. She started taking off her boots and threw them behind her.  
'What are you-'  
'I'll race you to the water!' Xena flung her Chakram to the floor, pulled off the rest of her clothes until she was completely naked and ran at full speed to the river.  
Gabrielle watched with her jaw wide open as Xena ran, her naked butt glistening in the moonlight. 'She is crazy.' Gabrielle muttered to herself.  
'Haha I win!' Xena roared as she reached the water's edge and jumped into the chilly water. 'Oh! It's freezing!' she squealed and stood up, exposing her naked body again. Gabrielle could definitely tell the water was icy cold just from looking at Xena. Gabrielle chuckled. 'Don't worry Xena, I'll warm you up!' Her clothes flew onto the ground and she ran to join Xena in the shimmering water.


End file.
